You know, I've been to a lot of weddings before, and I must admit the biggest wedding I've ever been to was my own sister's, which was humongous, but it's always the weddings of your own friends that touch you the most. I mean, who cares about those cousins and stuff like that... but today, when I saw my friend walking on that red carpet towards the pelamin with the kompang in the background, yeah, I felt a little teary eyed... a little emotional. Cos this is my friend you know. Someone I knew before I met his gf (who is now his wife). And like he seemed so young and small in that wedding outfit, and here he is about to dive into living with the same person for the rest of his life and starting a family... there's something tender and touching about that.
It's been a long time since I've seen those guys... this particular set of friends. I got several different sets of friends. Highschool friends, uni friends, diplomat kids friends, etc. But there's something about seeing friends who've helped you through some really tough times again that make things more memorable, especially when they're getting married. hehehe. I thought I'd shed a tear or two, but I didn't. Like you're so happy for them, you feel a little emotional. You feel touched that they even remembered to invite you to their wedding after so many years of no contact. And to see their face recognize yours when you're standing in the crowd watching them walk down the aisle... that's a truly touching moment.
I care about my friends, even if sometimes I don't show it often enough, or I don't say it or call them enough. I care about them a lot. It's difficult when you've graduated and working and moved on with life to keep in touch with everyone. It's difficult. Sometimes it may even be awkward to meet up again after so many years because you find that you've changed. But I do appreciate those friends that still remember me, and I do appreciate those friends that still accept me for who I am even though I'm different from how I used to be. So I was thinking to myself in the car, on the way back home from the ceremony, when it comes time to my wedding, I want to invite everybody, and everybody sure is a lot ppl! I'm going to have to figure out where to seat them all, if they even show up at all! But I would be very happy if I could share my big day with my family and my closest friends. Even those ones that I haven't met in years. You're still in my heart. I hope one day we can reunite on a happy day.
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Friday, February 18, 2005
Coincidence eh?
It's not a good idea to consume chocolate when you're having a headache. Well at least for me it's true, because there's something in the chemicals in chocolate that enhance headaches. But I just took my chances and ate 3 pieces of the most irresistible ones in this box that my mom's friend gave us. Anyway, I was off work today because I woke up at 3.17 am with the same migraine that I had the day before at work. I tried to go back to sleep but was unsuccessful, just tossing and turning and burning with fever. When it was finally 6 am, I took a shower and was surprised that the water did not rejuvenate me. So, rather hesitantly (but knowing it was the absolute right thing to do cos I was exhausted), I called my boss at 8.15 and told him that I wasn't coming, but could he please arrange for someone to complete the one small task that I was meant to do today?
Yah, so I felt a little guilty about pushing aside my responsibilities for a day. I think they were even betting on that (my new employers), that I would want to get things done no matter what, because they did a pretty thorough personality test on me before I was hired. My bosses did not reveal all the results to me, but they did mention that I was inclined to be "impatient" and would want to complete a task quickly. Which was correct. So maybe they put me in my current position because they knew I'd try to do something about the massive backlog of work my predecessor left me. I wonder how the personality test helped them to decide which type of person was good for which job. Because I did notice a distinct similarity in all the HR people -- they were all friendly and giggly people. Which is what you need in HR, people who are warm and sociable and who'd be able to deal with 'people' needs. So there you go.
It's also interesting how unseen forces work, or unseen powers work rather. I don't know whether the two incidents are related or not (because my mother is just a housewife after all and holds no real power), but I told her this morning about the friend of mine who was stuck doing nothing in the library of the foreign ministry for what has been almost a month. Yeah, he called me in the morning while I was resting. It seems the ministry is always this late in assigning new hires to a division. But waiting around for a month is such a drag even when surrounded by such interesting books. My mom exhibited shock and disgust at the same time at the Ministry's inefficiency, as if it was a grave misconduct.
What I actually said was, "Ma, do you think aunty saimun needs any help right now in pauper's department?" (I call my dad Pauper. Not that he's a pauper, that's just what his nickname sounds like "pohper")
"Why? She's on leave, packing and getting ready to be posted to Washington."
"Oh. Cos my friend is stuck in the Wisma Putra library doing nothing. For a month. Maybe if she needs to get anything done, he can help her?"
"Hah? Really? A month?? This is all so-and-so's doing, the one in charge of administration. If they don't have work, why'd they hire your friend in the first place! What's his name?"
I told her his name. "Well wait til your father gets back from Pakistan. Maybe there will be work available then. Why don't you ask him when he gets back."
So I thought, okay. And the guy in charge of admin is a really nice guy, this is not meant to take a hit at him. It's normal for there to be a long delay before getting a posting in the government. Cos it's the government. Things there are slow. It's common knowledge.
Anyway, the funny thing is, I don't know know if the previous incident is related or not, but at 5 pm the same day, the admin ppl called my friend and informed him he'll be assigned to the American bilateral division in my dad's foreign policy department. So that's great huh? What a wicked twist of luck. So my friend was surprised (and amused like me) at how fast things came into order after he told me his predicament. I was pretty surprised, too. But it is so unlikely that my mother had anything to do with it. Cos she is just a housewife after all. And my father really is away abroad. It's just some really wild coincidence. But a really funny one.
Yah, so I felt a little guilty about pushing aside my responsibilities for a day. I think they were even betting on that (my new employers), that I would want to get things done no matter what, because they did a pretty thorough personality test on me before I was hired. My bosses did not reveal all the results to me, but they did mention that I was inclined to be "impatient" and would want to complete a task quickly. Which was correct. So maybe they put me in my current position because they knew I'd try to do something about the massive backlog of work my predecessor left me. I wonder how the personality test helped them to decide which type of person was good for which job. Because I did notice a distinct similarity in all the HR people -- they were all friendly and giggly people. Which is what you need in HR, people who are warm and sociable and who'd be able to deal with 'people' needs. So there you go.
It's also interesting how unseen forces work, or unseen powers work rather. I don't know whether the two incidents are related or not (because my mother is just a housewife after all and holds no real power), but I told her this morning about the friend of mine who was stuck doing nothing in the library of the foreign ministry for what has been almost a month. Yeah, he called me in the morning while I was resting. It seems the ministry is always this late in assigning new hires to a division. But waiting around for a month is such a drag even when surrounded by such interesting books. My mom exhibited shock and disgust at the same time at the Ministry's inefficiency, as if it was a grave misconduct.
What I actually said was, "Ma, do you think aunty saimun needs any help right now in pauper's department?" (I call my dad Pauper. Not that he's a pauper, that's just what his nickname sounds like "pohper")
"Why? She's on leave, packing and getting ready to be posted to Washington."
"Oh. Cos my friend is stuck in the Wisma Putra library doing nothing. For a month. Maybe if she needs to get anything done, he can help her?"
"Hah? Really? A month?? This is all so-and-so's doing, the one in charge of administration. If they don't have work, why'd they hire your friend in the first place! What's his name?"
I told her his name. "Well wait til your father gets back from Pakistan. Maybe there will be work available then. Why don't you ask him when he gets back."
So I thought, okay. And the guy in charge of admin is a really nice guy, this is not meant to take a hit at him. It's normal for there to be a long delay before getting a posting in the government. Cos it's the government. Things there are slow. It's common knowledge.
Anyway, the funny thing is, I don't know know if the previous incident is related or not, but at 5 pm the same day, the admin ppl called my friend and informed him he'll be assigned to the American bilateral division in my dad's foreign policy department. So that's great huh? What a wicked twist of luck. So my friend was surprised (and amused like me) at how fast things came into order after he told me his predicament. I was pretty surprised, too. But it is so unlikely that my mother had anything to do with it. Cos she is just a housewife after all. And my father really is away abroad. It's just some really wild coincidence. But a really funny one.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Another Malaysian explanation
Well, actually it's my own explanation... that crop circles are made by jinns. Cos I saw on Discovery or National Geographic, that crop circles had metallic and plasma residues or something like that, and you know, jinns are made of plasma. It is also a characteristic of jinns to trick people. It is their job to trick and fool people, they're tricksters. And in the cover of darkness, I can just see them sniggering while they are crushing the crop circles with their fiery bodies (jinns are made of fire or a substance like it, it says in the Quran), and saying to each other, "Those silly humans think they're made by aliens when it's just us!"
It makes a lot of sense.
It makes a lot of sense.
A Malaysian explanation
My chest hurts, like a lot. I hate it. It feels like someone stacked a pile of heavy books on my chest. Hurts.
Which brings me to my next thought... about the hantu hempap. In English, it would be translated as "the crushing ghost". It's more like the "smothering" ghost. It's supposedly a ghost, or spirit, that sits on you, thus crushing your body and smothering your face, while you are sleeping, so that you will suffocate. I'm not sure if it's this ghost's intention to kill you or what, but that's what it supposedly likes to do. This hantu hempap that is.
In actuality, the suffocation-like sensation that a person feels during sleep takes place at a time when the brain is on the border of being conscious and unconscious. There's like a relapse or something, and the brain is neither asleep or awake... and a person will lose control of their limbs, and perhaps even of their breathing. And if you don't stay calm, you can suffocate because you feel yourself gasping for air. I'm sure you've experienced this thing before during sleep... you suddenly feel like your chest is being crushed, and you're telling yourself, "roll over, roll over so I can breathe" but your body isn't doing what your brain is telling it to... Well, the Malays have explained this phenomenon as being crushed by the hantu hempap, when in fact it's entirely scientific.
Sometimes, when your mind and body are going through this excruciating experience, you may find yourself screaming out loud for help, but find that no voice is coming out. And later on, when you've woken up and recovered and ask people around you if they heard you scream, they'll say no. And then you'll shudder and say, "it was the hantu hempap."
Before I heard about the hantu hempap, I always thought that those occurrences were caused by my asthma or sinus problems. I never thought it was caused by a ghost that liked to sit on you... and I still don't. Whatever everyone else things...
Which brings me to my next thought... about the hantu hempap. In English, it would be translated as "the crushing ghost". It's more like the "smothering" ghost. It's supposedly a ghost, or spirit, that sits on you, thus crushing your body and smothering your face, while you are sleeping, so that you will suffocate. I'm not sure if it's this ghost's intention to kill you or what, but that's what it supposedly likes to do. This hantu hempap that is.
In actuality, the suffocation-like sensation that a person feels during sleep takes place at a time when the brain is on the border of being conscious and unconscious. There's like a relapse or something, and the brain is neither asleep or awake... and a person will lose control of their limbs, and perhaps even of their breathing. And if you don't stay calm, you can suffocate because you feel yourself gasping for air. I'm sure you've experienced this thing before during sleep... you suddenly feel like your chest is being crushed, and you're telling yourself, "roll over, roll over so I can breathe" but your body isn't doing what your brain is telling it to... Well, the Malays have explained this phenomenon as being crushed by the hantu hempap, when in fact it's entirely scientific.
Sometimes, when your mind and body are going through this excruciating experience, you may find yourself screaming out loud for help, but find that no voice is coming out. And later on, when you've woken up and recovered and ask people around you if they heard you scream, they'll say no. And then you'll shudder and say, "it was the hantu hempap."
Before I heard about the hantu hempap, I always thought that those occurrences were caused by my asthma or sinus problems. I never thought it was caused by a ghost that liked to sit on you... and I still don't. Whatever everyone else things...
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