Saturday, April 30, 2005
And yes...
if you check the time of the post, I really did wake up this early on a Saturday... because I slept so early yesterday and skipped dinner... and now I'm hungry.
I got my passport
My arm so hurts from yesterday. Actually I was so exhausted, I slept so early even on a Friday night. I took leave yesterday just so I could go to the Isetan members' only presale. How sad, I know. And only a woman would do that. Yeah, so what. I was there at 11am, and didn't leave KLCC till 4. But I left Isetan at around 2 cos I couldn't stand the crowd by then. I was at Kinokuniya after.
Anyway, I discovered something about salespeople. If you go shopping looking your best, for some reason, they layan you more. Yeah. They'll think you're rich and have lots of money to spend. But the fact is everyone has money to spend if they go to a presale on a working day. Please... who'd go to all that trouble, getting suffocated in that big a crowd not to buy anything? It was like an oven in there yesterday! I was sweating in an air-cond room.
For the first half an hour it was fun cos there wasn't much ppl around yet. But then it got unbearable and I stood in line for 45 mins or more just to pay for the 3 things I wanted to buy.
Yesterday was also the day I got my first civilian passport. Not that I wasn't a civilian before... not that before I was military... No but it just felt weird. Cos if you are still a dependent at the age of 21 (which I was) you get to keep your diplomatic passport. But once I graduated and got a job, I had to surrender my diplomatic passport. Which is what I did. And I was passport-less for about 2 years... can you believe that? A passport is your freedom, and I was living without one for that long. Imagine if some bad thing were to happen in Malaysia, like, God forbid, a military coup... you would need a passport to escape, and I didn't have one! You know, stuff like that... it's your freedom ticket.
Other ppl will say that money is freedom. But there are ways to travel without money you know. So a passport is still your freedom.
My face still looks like a clown's in the passport photo. Except fatter. And I was so shy with the auntie who brought me to the special immigration to cancel my previous passport. She had things to say about Chinese ppl that I wasn't very proud to listen to, and I was tempted to tell her that my bf is half Chinese, which would mean that I took offence to the stuff she said (narrow-minded stuff) but then she's really old, and it would make her lose face if I told her. It would be like me telling her straight to her face she's narrow-minded and it would hurt her because she's so much older and experienced in life, and I'm supposed to be so young. But you see, I'm an advocate for making Mandarin a subject in schools. Why not? Kids can learn to understand each other better.
She thought it was rubbish. Sometimes I wonder if they put these ppl in our paths to test us. Like maybe they are spies for the government and they are just there to see what our opinions are really like and report back to their bosses. I'm sure that type of stuff exists. I mean who would suspect an old lady to be a spy? She asked me lots of questions yesterday, and she did antagonize me over certain subjects for no reason. Maybe she wanted to see which political stand I had. I'm pro government. Just that the govt should improve their policies just a little. But anyway, maybe she was a spy. Because she said certain unneccessary things to gain my trust like, "How's your mother? I like your mother, she's a pleasant lady." Okay... no, my mother is not that pleasant, but alright... And she's got no reason to suck up either, she's in a totally different dept than my father. Maybe she is a spy, because sometimes I just refuse to believe that the foreign ministry can have such narrow-minded ppl working in it when they've all been and lived overseas.
See... now I'm the one being narrow-minded, or being stereotypical, or um... making my own conclusions. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with learning different languages. She's so rubbish about that.
Anyway, I discovered something about salespeople. If you go shopping looking your best, for some reason, they layan you more. Yeah. They'll think you're rich and have lots of money to spend. But the fact is everyone has money to spend if they go to a presale on a working day. Please... who'd go to all that trouble, getting suffocated in that big a crowd not to buy anything? It was like an oven in there yesterday! I was sweating in an air-cond room.
For the first half an hour it was fun cos there wasn't much ppl around yet. But then it got unbearable and I stood in line for 45 mins or more just to pay for the 3 things I wanted to buy.
Yesterday was also the day I got my first civilian passport. Not that I wasn't a civilian before... not that before I was military... No but it just felt weird. Cos if you are still a dependent at the age of 21 (which I was) you get to keep your diplomatic passport. But once I graduated and got a job, I had to surrender my diplomatic passport. Which is what I did. And I was passport-less for about 2 years... can you believe that? A passport is your freedom, and I was living without one for that long. Imagine if some bad thing were to happen in Malaysia, like, God forbid, a military coup... you would need a passport to escape, and I didn't have one! You know, stuff like that... it's your freedom ticket.
Other ppl will say that money is freedom. But there are ways to travel without money you know. So a passport is still your freedom.
My face still looks like a clown's in the passport photo. Except fatter. And I was so shy with the auntie who brought me to the special immigration to cancel my previous passport. She had things to say about Chinese ppl that I wasn't very proud to listen to, and I was tempted to tell her that my bf is half Chinese, which would mean that I took offence to the stuff she said (narrow-minded stuff) but then she's really old, and it would make her lose face if I told her. It would be like me telling her straight to her face she's narrow-minded and it would hurt her because she's so much older and experienced in life, and I'm supposed to be so young. But you see, I'm an advocate for making Mandarin a subject in schools. Why not? Kids can learn to understand each other better.
She thought it was rubbish. Sometimes I wonder if they put these ppl in our paths to test us. Like maybe they are spies for the government and they are just there to see what our opinions are really like and report back to their bosses. I'm sure that type of stuff exists. I mean who would suspect an old lady to be a spy? She asked me lots of questions yesterday, and she did antagonize me over certain subjects for no reason. Maybe she wanted to see which political stand I had. I'm pro government. Just that the govt should improve their policies just a little. But anyway, maybe she was a spy. Because she said certain unneccessary things to gain my trust like, "How's your mother? I like your mother, she's a pleasant lady." Okay... no, my mother is not that pleasant, but alright... And she's got no reason to suck up either, she's in a totally different dept than my father. Maybe she is a spy, because sometimes I just refuse to believe that the foreign ministry can have such narrow-minded ppl working in it when they've all been and lived overseas.
See... now I'm the one being narrow-minded, or being stereotypical, or um... making my own conclusions. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with learning different languages. She's so rubbish about that.
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Incident in the lift
When I worked at the Bank, I had a colleague whose husband went to the same high school as me. I attended a boarding school for the last four years of high school. Technically, (in the American sense), I did my last two years of high school there and then added 2 more years to do A-levels, which was a waste of time because I discovered I could've entered the uni I went to without it.
Anyway, it being a "British" boarding school, it was really strict in some areas, and not strict at all in others. But there was one funny incident that still makes me curl up with embarrassment, and which my ex-colleague at the Bank refuses to let me forget. Her husband was my senior and also a prefect. When I was in Form 4 or 5, I can't remember when exactly, he booked me for excessive PDA (public display of affection) during bulan Ramadan. It was nothing excessive of the kind. It was a good-bye hug and kiss at the speed bump leading to the girls' dormitories, which provides the border where boys are prohibited to step over. It was fasting month, and I was having my period, and therefore can't fast, so what the hell, we kissed and hug, and that was it. The humiliating part was, Azly, (the prefect and my ex-colleague's husband) saw us performing our good-bye ritual from his dorm's balcony and blew a whistle to stop us. Of course, when he blew the whistle, everyone rushed out to see. It was late afternoon, and possibly even lunch time, so all the kids were about. And then, for punishment, me and my bf (now ex, and possibly married) had to run around the school at 5 am in the morning (it's called school drill) for a week. Our names (along with other ppl being booked for other offences) were posted on the notice board.
Anyway, this same prefect that booked me, he works for Sime Darby on the floor above mine in my office building. And what should happen last Friday but me bumping into him in the elevator! And he gave me this big grin and says, "My wife told me you were working in this building..." and I think I blushed remembering what he'd seen me do during puasa month, all those years ago and I covered my face with the cheque and bank-in slip I was holding. Hehe... how embarrassing... I was so young then... how naive and innocent... yeaaah right!
Anyway, it being a "British" boarding school, it was really strict in some areas, and not strict at all in others. But there was one funny incident that still makes me curl up with embarrassment, and which my ex-colleague at the Bank refuses to let me forget. Her husband was my senior and also a prefect. When I was in Form 4 or 5, I can't remember when exactly, he booked me for excessive PDA (public display of affection) during bulan Ramadan. It was nothing excessive of the kind. It was a good-bye hug and kiss at the speed bump leading to the girls' dormitories, which provides the border where boys are prohibited to step over. It was fasting month, and I was having my period, and therefore can't fast, so what the hell, we kissed and hug, and that was it. The humiliating part was, Azly, (the prefect and my ex-colleague's husband) saw us performing our good-bye ritual from his dorm's balcony and blew a whistle to stop us. Of course, when he blew the whistle, everyone rushed out to see. It was late afternoon, and possibly even lunch time, so all the kids were about. And then, for punishment, me and my bf (now ex, and possibly married) had to run around the school at 5 am in the morning (it's called school drill) for a week. Our names (along with other ppl being booked for other offences) were posted on the notice board.
Anyway, this same prefect that booked me, he works for Sime Darby on the floor above mine in my office building. And what should happen last Friday but me bumping into him in the elevator! And he gave me this big grin and says, "My wife told me you were working in this building..." and I think I blushed remembering what he'd seen me do during puasa month, all those years ago and I covered my face with the cheque and bank-in slip I was holding. Hehe... how embarrassing... I was so young then... how naive and innocent... yeaaah right!
Flashback
You know, looking back at old photos, I have the same exact haircut as I had in high school. Exactly. I didn't even realise it until a week has gone by since I first had my hair cut. It's the short bob where I can tuck it behind my ears. Back in school, when my hair grew a little longer, I would tie my hair up in two pig tails. And my bf (now ex, and maybe married) would call them "Nads tails".
I couldn't possibly tie my hair up like that now and go to work. Even though it can get very warm in the office because the air-conditioning is weak.
Do you sometimes go through everyday life and then suddenly realise that you've gone through the same thing before in the past? Like you're reliving a flashback? Ya, those things are so scary. Especially when it's not a happy event. I was sitting in the car for more than an hour (pretty much) having a discussion, and I had chills up and down my spine cos it seemed like a perfect re-enactment of something I've gone through before. I was telling myself, "Do something different this time, so it won't be jinxed... or else you'll be doomed to relive the same nightmare over and over again."
I am determined to make my life different this time, although I am not sure in which way I should change, or whether I am even capable of change. Because you know, day in day out, we become creatures of habit. Even if it's a bad habit. I don't know how I should start, and even where I should start.
Sometimes I feel like it's better to live alone and not have to bother with other ppl at all. You're free to be whoever you want to be, and free to do whatever you want to do. I'm sure everyone feels the way. Sometimes I am just tired and want to go to sleep for a long long time. I need a vacation.
I couldn't possibly tie my hair up like that now and go to work. Even though it can get very warm in the office because the air-conditioning is weak.
Do you sometimes go through everyday life and then suddenly realise that you've gone through the same thing before in the past? Like you're reliving a flashback? Ya, those things are so scary. Especially when it's not a happy event. I was sitting in the car for more than an hour (pretty much) having a discussion, and I had chills up and down my spine cos it seemed like a perfect re-enactment of something I've gone through before. I was telling myself, "Do something different this time, so it won't be jinxed... or else you'll be doomed to relive the same nightmare over and over again."
I am determined to make my life different this time, although I am not sure in which way I should change, or whether I am even capable of change. Because you know, day in day out, we become creatures of habit. Even if it's a bad habit. I don't know how I should start, and even where I should start.
Sometimes I feel like it's better to live alone and not have to bother with other ppl at all. You're free to be whoever you want to be, and free to do whatever you want to do. I'm sure everyone feels the way. Sometimes I am just tired and want to go to sleep for a long long time. I need a vacation.
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