Rockstar

I really like that show Rockstar INXS. I guess I like it because it's a genre of music that I love, and I can relate to it better than American Idol/Malaysian Idol/Pop Idol/Akademi Fantasia. Every single show they're performing rock songs that I know and love, so it's actually nice to root for each of the contestants. But my favorite is Marty, because he seems really grounded and true to himself. And plus he sings really well.

Anyway, the other night, he performed a song that came from my childhood that really evoked a lot of old memories. It was "I Alone" by Live. It's funny how you remember the lyrics to a song even though you haven't heard it in a long, long, time. And it's funny how you start to remember all the little things related to that song. I have Live's cd, Throwing Copper somewhere in my house, but I haven't played it in a long while. But I remember, during the time when I was really into Live, around the age of 15/16, my best friend chucked the cassette down to me from his balcony and I didn't manage to catch it, and it hit the ground and broke. So I bought him a new one, and I bought the cd for myself.

"I Alone" and "Lightning Crashes", "Selling the Drama" and "All Over You" and all the other songs on the album really reminds me of the gang back in 5i. There was Jason, Carl, David, Wilcox, Adam, Matt and Robert. And the girls, me, Rebecca, Kerensa, Clara, Agness. And it reminded me of Jason's band. With Ian on drums, Jase on guitar and Cox on bass. And it reminded me of the video that we made for Rebecca before she left. And all these things... And I really wonder what happened to those guys, especially Jase cos he was my closest guy friend out of the bunch but the one I didn't manage to keep in touch with. He sort of found me though, and left a testimonial on my friendster, thru Clara, but he did that purposely so that I can't find him again. I think.

It would be nice to tell those guys that I'm getting married. (Yeah like in 2006/2007) They were such a big part of my life back then in boarding school, it'll be nice to have them there at my wedding. I grew up with these ppl. I was talking to an old friend of mine yesterday, and he said it'd be good to tell Carl, my ex, that I'm getting married. Not that he'd care, I think, but maybe it's just nice to let him know anyway. Yeah maybe. If I ever bump into him. Which I don't. Because I think we made a promise or a curse or something, never to see each other again, ever. Yeah. Which is why everybody else bumps into him (and they tell me about it), but I never do. Which I think is sort of cool in that spooky way.

And all these feelings came up just because of Rockstar...

Last night

The nasties follow me around everywhere. My bf calls it "setan" or "the devil". This used to happen the last time I lived alone. I'd be sleeping and suddenly I would feel someone else sitting on my bed, even though there is no one else in the house... it's freaky. Last night I was already half-asleep, then I heard something drop to the floor in my bathroom. The door of my bathroom was ajar, and I could see inside it from where I was lying down on my bed, and I could see that the towels were still hanging on the hook, and everything else is where it should be, so I freaked out.

What could it be? What could have made that noise. I called my bf, but of course he only got annoyed. He told me to check outside. I didn't know how to tell him that the noise came from inside my room. It was very loud, and very nearby. But I checked outside anyway. Nothing. None of the windows were open, the wind could not have blown anything down... So when he called again to make sure I was okay, I just told him that it must be the neighbours that moved in upstairs. It could have been, who knows?

But still the sound was unmistakable. It's one of those things you can sense. The nasties like to play tricks on you when they know you're vulnerable and alone. I hope they go away. They go away once they know you're not afraid of them anymore.

It's been so long!

I haven't updated this thing in ages... It's terrible. I've probably lost all my readers... oh well. The reason why I haven't updated it is cos I've been so busy. First my parents were packing up the house to move to Australia (they're there now with the other 2 kids). That took about a month or so of packing their stuff. Then it was my turn to pack up and move out of the house into my new apt. That took about a week... or so. I've moved in but still haven't unpacked fully. Then I needed to buy all the stuff for the house, which I'm still doing. Then I ran out of money. I'm almost broke and waiting for my salary to come in...

Then another thing is I have no internet at home. I haven't had internet at home for like more than a month. Ever since the packers came and took away all the computers at home. And we had like 3 computers. So no net, no blogging, no surfing, no chatting.

Now I'm at work, and I rarely get the chance to do much on the net except check e-mail. So that's why I've been awfully quiet lately.

I'll move back into Putrajaya in a year's time. A year and a half maybe. That's when the house I bought will be ready. Well, I didn't buy it, my dad did. And that will be my house. For when I get married. But I told my parents they can live there with me. And I'm going to have a pond... with koi in it. And a swing set outside, and a hammock. It'll be my dream house...

yeaaa right...