Flashback

You know, looking back at old photos, I have the same exact haircut as I had in high school. Exactly. I didn't even realise it until a week has gone by since I first had my hair cut. It's the short bob where I can tuck it behind my ears. Back in school, when my hair grew a little longer, I would tie my hair up in two pig tails. And my bf (now ex, and maybe married) would call them "Nads tails".

I couldn't possibly tie my hair up like that now and go to work. Even though it can get very warm in the office because the air-conditioning is weak.

Do you sometimes go through everyday life and then suddenly realise that you've gone through the same thing before in the past? Like you're reliving a flashback? Ya, those things are so scary. Especially when it's not a happy event. I was sitting in the car for more than an hour (pretty much) having a discussion, and I had chills up and down my spine cos it seemed like a perfect re-enactment of something I've gone through before. I was telling myself, "Do something different this time, so it won't be jinxed... or else you'll be doomed to relive the same nightmare over and over again."

I am determined to make my life different this time, although I am not sure in which way I should change, or whether I am even capable of change. Because you know, day in day out, we become creatures of habit. Even if it's a bad habit. I don't know how I should start, and even where I should start.

Sometimes I feel like it's better to live alone and not have to bother with other ppl at all. You're free to be whoever you want to be, and free to do whatever you want to do. I'm sure everyone feels the way. Sometimes I am just tired and want to go to sleep for a long long time. I need a vacation.