Bersyukurlah

I was driving back from Damansara Heights at around 5 pm, and as I reached that bend in front of Uniten to go back to Putrajaya, I said to myself, "Mmm this is home," and the thought just made me smile. I had my usual Peterpan mix tape on, and the feeling of arriving home was just so soothing, it made me feel happy all over.

It's been a long time since I've been happy to call some place my home. To really feel happy about a place being my home. I think the last time I really felt happy and senang hati in a place--happy enough to love lounging around at home and not go out even though the night life was so bustling and happening--was in Singapore. We lived in a house on a secluded hill and it was the nicest house I've ever lived in. But too bad, when we moved out, they tore the house down and built apartments in its place. That was a truly beautiful house. Beautiful landscaping, layout, etc. I truly felt at ease with that house.

When I drive home now, I'm really glad that I live in such a peaceful place. It's so scenic. And the broad avenues really make a difference. It really makes you feel calm. All those trees. I'm so glad that the government had this idea to provide housing, good housing, for government workers. It's such a plus. To be able to own a home in such a good location. And the houses are really nice for government quarters. It's nice to come home here. I think it's worth it, to get away from it all, the hustle and bustle of the crowded city where I work. It's soooo worth it.

I'm always asking my sayang, "It's nice right, to live here? It's okay right?" You know, hinting to him that if we ever get married that I'd want to live here and not anywhere else. I'm hoping that my parents will give me the house that they bought here. Hehehe. As if they'll be around in the country to live in it anyway... knowing them, they'd be stationed somewhere else in the world.

I'm very family or home oriented. I was quite surprised myself that I ended up this way, since I was kinda a wild child when I was younger. Always out of the house. But now I'm a homebody. And I was telling the panel that I was with earlier today that family life was important to me. And I was quite surprised to find myself meaning it when I said it. I think I told my boss the very same thing during my interview. And it is important. I sort of dread the time when my family will leave me behind. They're moving somewhere and I don't even know the details of it yet.

But the whole point of my journey today, I think, in God's point of view, was to show me that I have a very good life, and I should be very thankful for it. And I think today was the first time I'm really ready to admit that to myself. That I have a good life, and that I'm happy with it, and that I am thankful for it. Because most of the time I'm battling with my depression that I never really get to see how beautiful life is. And today, I sort of can see better. Like as if someone pushed the curtains apart wider to let the light in, giving me a better perspective. I don't know how long this happy and "aware" state will last. But I'm hoping it will last a whole lot longer than today.